Some trading card collectors use the term "holy grail" to describe a card that they covet. A card that's quite rare, or that might be out of their price range. A card that's only a dream. 1951 Bowman Mickey Mantle. 1979-80 O-Pee-Chee Wayne Gretzky PSA 10. Stuff like that.
You know what I say to those collectors?
YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER AND YOUR FATHER SMELT OF ELDERBERRIES!
Because one of my holy grail cards is no longer a dream. Check it out:
If you're a Monty Python fan, you might have recognized that "elderberries" taunt I shouted above as the one that a French soldier originally hurled toward Arthur and his knights of the round table. It's one of many, many quotable lines from the film Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
As for the origins of this custom card, I don't know exactly how it came together. I hadn't seen the film in quite a while. But somehow I thought about those five characters. Then I decided to watch the film again. Then I thought about custom cards. And there you go. It wasn't long before I found the 1963 Topps design and got started. I think it works out perfectly that Arthur gets the middle spot, in that red diamond, while his knights surround him on all sides. For the text on top, I simply swapped out the "1962 National League" and "Home Run Leaders" with a more fitting date and text. (932 AD is the year in which the film takes place).
Now here's a look at the card back.
Similar to the 1980s film stars set, I added a movie poster–style graphic across the top. However, I couldn't find good data for the box office gross, high weekly ranking, number of theaters, etc., so I decided to list the actors' names and which characters they played instead. The front of the card doesn't list the actors' names anyhow, so it all works out.
Now here's a clip from the film showing the French soldier taunting Arthur and his knights.
And if you haven't seen the film, well. . .
I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU NO MORE, YOU EMPTY-HEADED ANIMAL FOOD TROUGH WIPER!
But no. I'm not really taunting you. It's fine if you haven't seen the film. There are more custom cards in this style to come, anyhow. So stay tuned.
And thanks for reading!
Someday a custom card maker will figure out scratch & sniff technology from a home printer, and this card really can smell of elderberries.
ReplyDeleteHah! One day, Jason.
DeleteNow THAT is a Holy Grail card!
ReplyDeleteIndeed it is, Night Owl ;-)
DeleteSir Galahad, so eager to face the peril.
ReplyDeleteGreat card!
Heheh. Thank you, Angus. Great scene.
Delete"We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril."
"I don't think I was."
That's awesome.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much!
DeleteOne of the funniest films ever.
ReplyDeleteDon't get me quoting lines. I'll be here for hours :-D
DeleteI like it! Great movie too.
ReplyDeleteThanks very much, Crocodile!
DeleteBeing based on a league leader card it would be interesting to note some of their stats:
ReplyDeleteKing Arther leads the league in Black Knight limbs chopped off
Sir Gallahad leads in vows of chastity that he regrets entering into
Sir Lancelot leads in wedding guests killed due to comic misunderstanding
Sir Bedevere leads in convictions of witches who weigh the same as ducks
Sir Robin leads in armor soiling
Hah! Well done there, Sean.
DeleteNever watched it... or I might have started it, but couldn't get into it. While on a road trip down to see my father a few years ago, I remember my brother saying I need to give it a shot.
ReplyDeleteCertainly worth another shot, Fuji ;-)
DeleteI. love. this. so. much! Great idea for a custom! Fun fact: The taunts have legitimately specific insults behind them and are not just random silly phrases. Calling the mother a hamster implies she procreates a lot, while smelling of elderberries means the father was a drunkard (elderberry wine)!
ReplyDeleteGlad you like the card so much, Matt! That's a fun fact, indeed. hahah. Thank you for sharing!
DeleteI've tried on multiple occasions over the years to get into Monty Python, and it just never catches on with me. It is a really nice looking card though. And judging by some of these comments, I'd have to think that it'll do well for you on eBay.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the compliment, Jon! It's a particular type of humor, that's for sure.
DeleteMuch belated, but once again great work! One of my favorite films.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jafronius! If I ever venture out on a quest to find the Grail, you're welcome to join me.
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